Handed me the World
by Chi Haku
Summary: A narrative on Ame's relationship with the Winchesters from the moment they met to now, written in her point of view. -Excuse the crappiness everyone- Sam/OC Dean/OC Family Relationship Only


**A/N:** Warning, I wrote this in thirtyfive minutes while I had writers block and it's a little confusing. I'm sorry for the crappiness. I would have I'm With You done by now but as I just said, writers block, and I have a shit tone of requests. Well, for now, enjoy.

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All I had was a clenched fist and closed eyes, seeing nothing and hearing nothing but the screams of children who were dying too young. It was like the world was a blur around me and I couldn't feel anything because if I did everything would break.

I was a parasite in a perfect universe where no one thought about the monsters in the closet and didn't care what lurked in the shadows. They disregarded all strange and unexplainable events, lapped up the excuses the media gave like rats drinking poisoned milk.

Was I the only one who could truly see the darkness concealed behind every smile? The only one who could tell when an offer to drive you home was practically saying someone would be dead the next day? Could it have been only me who understood the acid that dripped from every mouth, every tongue of every person who tried to explain away what happened?

It seemed I was, alone to walk the path of darkness because I had no choice. Condemned to know the truths that spoke out from behind the scenes, the things even the most prying of eyes could not see, and travel the unseen path.

But then there was you and for a moment the world stood still and I could see, not the rough outlines of my childhood, but clear, sharp images of people, of you and only you. Good things come to those who wait, and I had waited long enough, and here you were. Two lone figures on the same dusty road I was, walking it with pride instead of skulking in the back like I did.

You welcomed me with open arms and opened hearts, not caring who I was or where I came from, as long as I could fight beside you. You handed me the world and I never even noticed, never took it, because I never saw.

The year that went by was better than my life had ever been and I can't explain how much I would die to do it all over again. Even the bad times, the times I thought I could never live through, the experiences that made me wonder whether we were all totally sane, which in retrospect I still doubt if we are.

You were the closest thing I had to family and even you said I was practically your sister. I felt higher than I had ever been and I never expected to come down.

But then things started going wrong, started falling apart, because don't they always. First there was the death, then the deal, then the year. I toiled feverishly to find an answer, a way to save one of the only two people in the world left who stood beside me.

In the end, I failed, and it was the worst failure I had ever experienced in my life. I lost to death and to life and to the darkness that had threatened to take me over since day one. It hurt and I was scared and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

There was blood. So much BLOOD. It was everywhere and your eyes were unseeing and I felt half of my heart rip to shreds. Not, not rip, disintegrate, slowly, painfully, the same way you died, the same way I saw half of your second's heart die with you.

It only took a week for the final fall off the guillotine to take place. I knew we were falling apart, the two of us, the only ones left. It was you who told me to leave first, and it was me who relented. I should have fought back, should have argued and said you needed me, and we both know it was true, but I gave up, because I could feel myself die anyway.

And then you were gone, you were both gone and every light that had come on was gone. And they didn't just dim, they snapped out the instant that door closed behind you, the instant that car engine turned on and I was alone again, and my heart fully died.

After that it was nothing but white noise and too much driving again. I went from job to job, didn't stop to take care of my injuries, didn't care enough. Sometimes, when it hurt too much, I purposely picked a fight so I could focus on the physical pain instead of the one in my heart and mind.

I had had the world and you snatched it back when I couldn't handle the weight, but without it, without that weight on my shoulders, there was nothing tying me to the earth. It was like I would float away at any given moment because there was no reason to stick around. Of course, that's a sugar coated metaphor.

It was another five months before I ever saw you again. FIVE MONTHS. Can you believe it? I can't believe I even lasted that long without ending it all.

But five months later, you were back. And by you, I mean both of you.

I didn't know what to say, how to react, when you showed up on my latest hunt. You were beat up and rugged as usual, all messy hair and bright eyes ready for adventure. But there was something much more grown up and mature about you, something I didn't know the name of that pulsed out from you and hit me in waves.

I remember staring, wide eyed and shocked, standing there, knife in hand, covered in blood. I remember dropping the knife, too surprised to keep my grip, choking out your names. I don't really recall what happened next, but then next thing I new, you were on the ground, holding your cheek and my knuckles hurt, your elder having not moved, even when I punched you.

I was crying and I knew it, but neither of you cared. You got up without a word, and I could see where I hit you, imprinted on your cheek. You just grabbed me and hugged me, mumbling "I'm sorry I'm sorry Oh God I'm so so sorry" over and over again. Before I knew it, it was both of you with your arms around me and I was sobbing, gripping one of your jackets, just holding on for dear life.

"Oh god look at you baby girl" "What have you done to yourself" "I'm so sorry" "This is all my fault"

I barely heard and I didn't care. All that I cared about was that this was you and me and I wasn't in pain anymore and the weight was back and I didn't mind.

A week later, after all the explanations, all the introductions, all the "I'm so sorrys", you held out your hands to me again. Once more, you held out the world to me, and this time I recognized it, I saw it, I understood. This time I held out my hands, shaking and unsteady and gripped what you gave me, held it tight and close and decided never to let go.

You handed me the world, and I'm still holding onto it.

-_Narrative from the point of view of Ame Kurotsuki, 14_

_Directed to Sam and Dean Winchester in regards to their relationship, in summary_

_Written by Chuck for the next volume of Supernatural_


End file.
